Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 15 October 2008

image for Ringo Starr wants an end to fan mail
Ringo - low on cash, needs work.

In an unprecedented rant on the popular video site for sheep, Ewe Tube, Ringo Starr, 68, has announced that he will be signing no more autographs, or reading any more fan mail.

The Liverpudlian, famous for being the voice of Thomas the Tank Engine, and drumming impersonator made the speech after receiving three thousand pictures of Thomas the Tank Engine from children at Our Blessed Hallows All Saints Atheist school in Littlehampton; all wanting his autograph and sending them back for display on fridges across the town.

The postage alone used up all the royalties he had made on the Thomas franchise in 2007 and in the rant he announced that enough was enough. With Christmas approaching, the most popular time of year for Thomas the Tank Engine merchandise, he did sign off with a "Peace and Love" tag line that his PR people assured him would mitigate the impact of his dire announcement and not impact too heavily on the release of "Thomas Does It Again" in November.

Starr, who was the drummer of Rory Storm and the Hurricanes and Pastic Ono Band, caused quite a storm with his video rant, because people had forgotten he existed. In a recent "Top 100 Drummers" list he finished 356th, just behind Aynsley Dunbar the original drummer of Fleetwood Mac.

Celebrity pundits have claimed that this is a publicity stunt to remind people that he does exist, and hopefully get Ringo into the "Top 100 Voice Over Actors for Children's TV based on Train Characters", for which it was beginning to look like he would be excluded again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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