Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 14 October 2008

image for Alistair Darling is a Werewolf
By day, he's just a mild-mannered MP

Shock news from number 11 Downing Street today when it was revealed that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, is a werewolf.

Darling, 54, was bitten by a large animal whilst working as Secretary of State for Scotland in May 2006, prompting a cabinet reshuffle, with Darling going to Trade and Industry, where he can take one day off a month and the tendency to snarl got results. The transformation caused just his hair to turn white, leaving the rest of his body hair a deep black.

Once a month, the Lyncanthrope has to be excused from the public eye whilst he rampages across Hyde Park killing geese and rabbits. After it was discovered that he killed one of the queen's deer, he was immediately moved into the Chancellor of the Exchequer office. The office's incumbent is the only other person in England who can kill the queen's deer, apart from Richard Branson, who bought the rights off the cash strapped monarch in 2004.

Whilst being a werewolf does not lend itself naturally to managing the country's economy, it has proven a good move in terms of security on Downing Street.

Gordon Brown was questioned about Darling's monthly transformations. "Apart from having to put him on a leash, it's not really an issue in day to day politics," the Prime Minister said. "And once a month we get a freshly killed goose brought to the back door. I do wish he wouldn't try an lick our international guests, though. That can be embarrassing."

Darling was unavailable for comment, but he was overheard baying at the moon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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