Written by Arthur Pint
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Thursday, 9 October 2008

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The man with the longest finger in the world, Mr Brian Spindle, is reported to have been killed in a bizarre fairground accident earlier today.

Mr Spindle, from Leek in Staffordshire, was reported to have suffered a fatal injury whilst riding the 'Bouncing Bomb' rollercoaster at a local fair. The injury was inflicted during a particularly undulating section of the ride when Mr Spindle was reportedly picking his nose.

Paramedics were called and were in attendance within a few minutes of the tragic accident, but Mr Spindle was pronounced dead at the scene.

Mr Spindle's wife, Hilda, told shocked onlookers: "One minute he was shrieking with joy, the next he was screaming in agony. There was blood everywhere. I think he must have stabbed himself in the brain when we went over one of the bumps."

Police on the scene commented that anyone riding on high speed attractions such as the Bouncing Bomb should always take care not to pick their nose, check for ear wax or scratch their arse if they wish to avoid injury. Similar advice was also recently issued by RoSPA for people on pogo sticks, trampolines or going up and down stairs in a hurry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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