Written by Clifford Rutley
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Topics: Labour

Saturday, 20 September 2008

image for Labour Pay People To Fill Seats At Conference
Need A Job? Fill A Seat!

Many people are wondering today as to who was actually filling the seats in the audience of the Labour conference, as no one with any sense would want to - that is unless they wanted to hurl obscenities at the so called politicians. This confusion was only broken when it was leaked that an agency called 'Two Bit Actors' had arranged the seat filling task for a small fee, that came out of the ever increasing overdraft of the Labour Party's bank account.

After being quizzed about it, Two Bit's owner Janice Cheese admitted to the deal. 'Yes we provide cheap actors to a lot of things. Our most lucrative contracts are for members in the audience of those shopping channel infomercials, then we have the seats to fill at Sunderland's Stadium of Light for football matches and after that we've got the political parties.'

'What,' we said with a gasp. 'You mean the other political parties do the same thing?'

'Oh yes, the Tories and Liberal Democrats also need seats filled at their conferences.'

'Why is that?'

'Well didn't you know? No one with two or more brain cells buys the fake left right political paradigm any more. They all know it's a scam run by the elite central bankers that really run the world, just to give us the illusion of the power to change things. You wait and see. Obama will get in, nothing will change - David Cameron will get in, nothing will change.' She looked at us with a disappointed frown. 'It's all just a huge scam, I thought everyone knew that by now!'

After that we left because confusion had started to short out our brains. But then, a few hours later, it all came together like the final piece of a puzzle we'd been trying to solve for most of our lives

Of course it's a scam!

So why hadn't we figured that out for ourselves?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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