Written by inanutshell
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Topics: Invention, shoes

Thursday, 4 September 2008

image for The Self Healing Shoe
A New Footprint

A new shoe has been invented which the inventor hopes will make a pair of shoes and other footwear last much monger than what we are used to - suggesting up to twenty years before any noticeable deterioration in the health of the shoe.

The self-healing shoe uses bioconstructable materials which are genetically modified and supplied with nutrients from the ground as the wearer walks across green areas as well as water.

The average walker will walk through enough green areas and get their shoes wet enough to keep the shoe healthy and like with human flesh any scuffs or cuts will heal but there could be some small blemishes on the surface.

There has been speculation that the shoes were made of genetically modified creatures shaped like shoes but questions were asked how these creatures would relieve themselves and if so where it went. This seems unlikely but animal rights activists were not taking any chances so decided to conduct their own investigation.

There has been no evidence that the shoes are creatures, so further questions are being asked if there is something like 'live' human flesh being implanted into footwear. If so and the shoes are becoming a bit wrinkled, they could be taken to a laboratory for a facelift, but depending on how attached the owner is and the price of having cosmetic surgery on their shoes could make it easier to buy a new pair even though the estimated price of a standard pair of these shoes is more in the line of what celebrities can afford but some ordinary workers could afford them at a push.

So, just what is required to keep these shoes healthy? The British weather is ideal to keep these shoes healthy with all the rain and the muck you get on the streets with dog owners not cleaning up after themselves but what if you were walking around sand dunes on a hot summers day would the shoes be able to cope? Can it get too cold and would they freeze preventing you from taking them off until they had thawed? How would they repair themselves if one started to leak?

A spokesman for the company Shoeperheel which has started manufacturing these shoes said that the director Mr. Sock didn't want to be interviewed as the details were commercially sensitive and Shoeperheel had exclusive rights to manufacture the shoes. He said that Mr. Sock was known for opening his mouth and putting his foot right in it, so has decided to keep quiet for the time being to avoid embarrassment.

Football celebrities are said to be interested in these shoes since they will be fashion items which can easily be afforded, but one thing David Beckham asked was that if the shoes are in the mud and wet too much, could their appetite make them become greedy and consume too much eventually becoming obese? He suggested that having obese football boots could be an advantage over the other side as they could have more bounce and the fitness is in the player, not the footwear.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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