Written by Gordon Bennet
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Friday, 29 August 2008

image for Gordon Ramsey Claims the Queens Cooking is Inedible
Like most women the Queen likes to dress up on a rare night off from the kitchen

Master Chef Gordon Ramsey who is well known throughout the World for his Anglo Saxon Language claims that the Queens Culinary Skills are totally gross.

Ramsey and his wife Tana who where recently invited to Buckingham Palace for the Duke of Edinburgh's 113th Birthday Party was less than impressed with Her Majesties efforts to dish up a decent bit of grub after claiming on American TV that he was left with a nasty taste in his mouth for several days.

Apparently Ramsey rushed into the Palace Kitchen to spit it out a bit of chewy meat when he came across Her Majesty sweating over a Two Ring Belling Cooker.

In his usual quiet and calm manner normally reserved for hapless Chefs on his TV series Kitchen Nightmares, Ramsey explained how he took the Queen on one side in her own personal Kitchen and quietly explained that her Veal was rather tough and the gravy like dishwater.

When questioned on the suitability of using such a small cooker the Queen claimed that the Duke had enforced severe cutbacks at the Palace as the electricity meter supplying her large cooker absolutely ate ten pence pieces.

Yesterday still dressed in her Harrods Pinny, the Queen who prides herself on being a dab hand in the kitchen after attending Jamie Oliver's School of Fine Cooking announced that "she had always thought that Ramsey talked a load of shite and that she had written to him personally requesting that he returns his effing Knighthood."

It is understood that the Duke had recommended Ramsey for a Knighthood after discovering they both spoke the same language.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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