Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 24 July 2008

image for Eco-Town To Be Twinned With LazyTown
Stephanie - the little kids love her, the big kids want to bang her

One of the new government-planned Eco-Towns is to be built near to the site of the kids BBC settlement, LazyTown, and will be twinned with it, says a report.

LazyTown is a place where nobody wants to do anything, but Mayor Meanswell has enlisted the help of the slightly-above-average Superhero Sportacus to stimulate the townschildren's appetite for exercise and the outdoors.
He is helped by Stephanie, a pink-haired bimbo.

The first Eco-Town, Eco-Town 1 (ET1) will be situated 3 miles from LazyTown, and it's hoped that some of the fitness-enhancing activities that Sportacus and Stephanie indulge in, will rub-off on some of the youths in Eco-Town 1.

Health experts say that less than 8% of girls under the age of 16 have ever used a hula hoop or a skipping rope, compared with over 92% in 1988. Boys fare even worse. Only 5% of lads under 16 have ever played football, compared to a staggering 97% as recently as 2001.
Knife-carrying is more promising though, with 89% saying that they own a machete.

The government have said that obesity levels amongst children are at an all-time high, and wants them to "get out of the house, away from the Playstations and TV, and into the garden for some fresh air and exercise".

But LazyTown villain Robbie Rotten, brother of ex-Sex Pistols frontman, Johnny, said:

"They're just simple, rotten kids that are misunderstood. No future!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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