John Prescott has embarked on a worldwide tour to promote Britain and more importantly, to improve relations with world leaders.
Tony Blair's leadership and his party are suffering in the polls and in a bid to improve his world standing in the eyes of the voters in the UK he has sent his most trusted cabinet minister on a worldwide tour.
"I have every confidence in John Prescott to represent the good people of the UK, he has excellent social and political skills, he is extremely popular wherever he goes" said Tony Blair.
"I can't think of anyone kinder or more considerate to do the job" said the desperate prime minister.
Unfortunately, the first stop in Canada did not get off to a good start, whilst on his state visit, he was invited to a Hockey match, Canada's national sport. During the game, the deputy PM bought some pies, whilst eating several at once, he moaned bitterly about the quality of the pies, saying they were not fit for pigs to eat, once he had finished all fifteen pies, he made a comment that triggered an all out war in the stands.
"I was both scared and horrified " said one of the Hockey players, " so much violence...why damn it...why..." he went on to say before breaking down in tears along with several other scared and clearly shocked hockey players.
One terrified child who was distraught kept screaming "why is Jabba the Hut hurting us??"
According to witnesses, Prescott was heard to have said that "the Pies in Canada taste like crap and dog sh** tastes better", the bloated idiot did not stop there, so angry at the quality of the pies he criticised the Canadians and said "you Americans, you think you know everything, you can't even make a decent pie".
It was at this point a scuffle broke out, several members of the public tried to restrain him but he kept shouting "come on America, it that all you got?"
Due to the sheer horror of this incident, we are unable to show any further photo's, however, they are available on the Al Jazeera website.
Once released from jail, John Prescott gave a short statement to the waiting world media;
"I would like to apologise, we very much like this country...er...wait a minute...I wrote it down somewhere...er CANADA!! WHAT THE H*** ...and we hope that this minor mishap and the impending war crimes tribunal will not affect the solid relationship between our governments, I have already forgotten the incident, lets not make a meal of it, specially if the meal includes pies from this *$%*$* country"
John Prescott will continue his world tour, sooner rather than later because immediately after his apology, he was deported.