It has been discovered that Al-Queda have released a new terror weapon in this country - suicide bunnies - yes, suicide bunnies!
On 3rd June, a large cardboard box arrived at Luton Airport apparently from a holiday 'camp' in Pakistan and clearly marked 'LIVE FLUFFY BUNNIES - HANDLE WITH CARE' in big, bold, red letters.
Just days later one of them hopped into a suspected 'Nuclear Arms Production Plant' at Pitsford Treatment works, Northamptonshire and impaled itself on a piece of barbed wire around one of the cess pools. Within days the carcass began to decompose and drops of Myxomatosis and Cryptosporidium contaminated the water.
As a result, 100,000 homes throughout Northamptonshire were told by Anglian Water to boil tap water for up to 10 days. They were told that the water would initially taste like chicken soup but would soon clear after 24th June.
The Health Protection Agency (HPA) said that fourteen out of 15 confirmed Cryptosporidium cases in the water supply incident had the same "genetic fingerprint" as water samples taken from the river Ganges, the source of which, is to be found in the foothills of Pakistan.
Professor Ivor Poole, spokesman for Anglia Water wanted to assure the public that all 1,000 miles of pipes in the network were flushed and free from any waterborne virus by 1st July.