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Sunday, 22 June 2008

image for Epileptics Throw a Fit Over Tunbridge Wells Decision
Even high speed film couldn't capture the slogans on signs held by protesting epileptics in Tunbridge Wells

(Tunbridge Wells, England) - The Tunbridge Wells Borough Council has finally provided proof to the world that too much time on your hands will drive you completely batty. In a memo sent to city workers, the council has instructed all employees to use the term "thought showers" instead of "brainstorming," which the council feels may be offensive to epileptics.

While the decision prompted ridicule from around the globe, including by the National Society for Epileptics, it also helped to prove that often spoof writers need not make up a single thing in order to provide relevant satire. Sometimes the world is itself nothing more than living satire.

"Brainstorming is a clear and descriptive phrase," said the Epileptic's Society's Margaret Thomas. "Alternatives such as thought shower or blue-sky thinking are ambiguous to say the least. Any implication that the word brainstorming is offensive to epileptics takes political correctness too far."

The society is also concerned that this decision paints epileptics as people with no sense of humor.

"We are funny people, and not just to look at during a fit," said Thomas. "I named my kid Tremulous Jigger Thomas, for god's sake."

Speaking for the council, secretary Quaver Convulsion said the edict came out of an all night thought shower session, during which the council realized they actually had nothing substantial to do with their lives.

"Most of us are very well off," said Convulsion, "and we don't have to actually work for a living. We have hired help to do most of our household chores, and Tunbridge Wells is just such a little speck of nothing that practically runs itself. We wanted to actually have an impact on the world, and all the really good useless ideas had already been taken."

Epileptics protested outside the council's offices once the decision had been announced, but no one could figure out their demands because their protest signs were shaking too much to be read.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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