Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 20 June 2008

image for Big Brother Alex To Take Over London's East End Wiv A Gun
You never know, she might actually have one

Alexandra de-Gale, the Big Brother housemate unceremoniously dumped in the BB car park after she claimed she was a gangsta, is poised to take over London's notorious East End, and its full complement of hard-nosed crminal element.

Alex, who demands total respect, even though there is nobody in the world less deserving of it, was picked up by her henchmen around midnight last night, and whisked away to her secret hideout thought to be on a Council tower block somewhere.

From there, she issued a statement saying that:

"Rex is dead meat, Mohamad is an embarrassment to Islam, and the Big Bruva voice is 'up for eviction' if y'know wa'mean"

De-Gale has struck terror into the hearts of some of London's most fearless criminals, and has, in one week, wrested control of the capital's gangland from Papa Bigg, the black ganglord who has a gun.

Alex doesn't have a gun yet, but she's getting one later today.

Fear. Respect, namean?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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