Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 17 June 2008

image for Bush fails to quash London embassy coke dealer charges
US embassy staff livid at having to find new dealing arrangements

London - (Ass Mess): A last ditch attempt by George W Bush to hush up Tetra Pak heir Hans Kristian Rausing's US embassy drugs bust has failed.

Rausing, 69, was already on £500,000 bail for supplying London diplomats with their favorite brain-conditioner when he went on the run from his £5 million Mayfair home.

"We saw him jump out of the kitchen window on Sunday night," worried neighbor Mrs Suzy Splashback said today, "just as a police car arrived to take him to dinner at Downing Street where the PM was entertaining George W Bush.

"Maybe he thought it was another raid."

Rausing is believed to be holed up in a Barking safe-house used by Pete Doherty.

The chances of his coke dealing charge sheet being mysteriously shredded by Crown Prosecution Service officials are receding by the hour after Bush took his absence at dinner as a personal snub.

US embassy staff are planning a walkout to protest about having to trawl Mayfair's bars and clubs for their weekly fix after Rausing's cosy five year personal delivery service went down the pan.

Kate Moss is having rhinoplasty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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