Written by tishtosh
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Sunday, 1 June 2008

image for Scottish Hopes Dashed by Britains Got Talent Fix
A Scottish Rioter Heading for England

Britains Got Talents Final was today under investigation due to revelations that the result was fixed.
Scottish contestant, Andrew Muir, said that he was forced to sing "Imagination" despite the shows lack of it.

Simon Cowell refused to comment and was last seen making a hasty exit towards the airport bound for two weeks in the Bahamas.

Piers Morgan rubbished Muirs claims saying "The trouble with Scotland is its full of Scots".
Meanwhile, Miss Holden, was located in the dressing room of martial arts duo "Strike" and she refused to leave, claiming she needed the pair for protection and that she would not be blamed for the rising tensions between the British countries.

Fellow contestant Gin the dog, said "its absolutely disgusting! I wanted to sing a power ballad but was denied the opportunity. Instead they insisted i dance about on two hind legs."

Cheeky Monkeys duo, who prefer monkey punching and pig wrestling for entertainment were forced to perform a dance routine instead.

Charle Dixon 8, the male part of the duo said "our total ethos, purpose and reason for applying was ignored and unfortunately monkey punching and pig wrestling was not allowed to come to the public stage tonight. Its a great shame."

The National Guard were placed on stand-by as large crowds of riotous Scots demanding equality in Britain headed towards the English Border.

The investigation continues.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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