Written by NewYorkversusLondon
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Monday, 21 April 2008

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Lager and black "more expensive than cocaine" - Butlins

Butlins claims to have 'excited' customers booking up for the summer season by announcing they will not be filling their swimming pools with any water.

Butlins boss Billy Butlin announced the move was taken to avoid bankruptcy but confused onlookers realized the spaced out charlatan had confused chloride with cocaine, which he has been using to clean his pools for the last three years.

In 2005, Butlin told Wank Holiday Magazine "that stuff is so expensive. it takes me a small bag just to get on the dance floor. how can we afford three tonnes of the stuff to pour into each pool?"

Butlin added that it would not make that much difference and did not expect bookings to suffer. "If you are coming here to swim I would encourage you to put on your arm pads and walk around the pool. I have snorted a bag of chloride and walked around that pool for six hours hiding from the Arabian civil service who I had convinced myself were about to arrive in a fleet of space ships and hang me upside down to steal the change from my pockets after raping my wife's dead mouth."

Butlin said it was "not the best" night of his life but added that the experience was "cheaper than sitting in the bar drinking lager and black."

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