Written by Cheril The Peril
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Topics: Gordon Brown

Monday, 14 April 2008

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Gordon Brown

Gordon Brown, in another of his fits of magnanimity, has promised £100 million for the purchase of mosquito nets for the people of Africa. This latest pledge comes in the wake of £825 million to India, £500 million to Palestine and £300 + to the Sudan.

Gordon's quirky habit of giving away British tax payers money to a variety of needy causes in almost every country on the planet has long been accepted by his parliamentary pals.

But the fact that he chose to make the latest announcement of largess via satellite link on an American game show has raised a few eyebrows at Westminster, and has started conflicting rumours as to what lies behind Give It Away Gordon's generosity. Some believe that the latest polls showing New Labour is falling in popularity has lead to Gordon considering a new career in the near future.

Game show host is something that many think he is already well qualified for. The fact that Gordon has been overheard muttering catchphrases such as Gordon Brown's Big Give Away, Ask Gordon and Its Yours and Gordon Will Fill Your Bank Account For You has added fuel to these rumours. But there is also speculation that the satellite link up is the real clue to GB's next move. Others suspect that GB is running out of countries on planet earth to give the British tax payers money away to and means to extend his philanthropy to inter galactic proportions.

It would be no surprise to us earthlings if any day now Gordon announced that he intends to fill a space rocket with sunscreen and parasols just in case there is life on Mars. With Mars being so close to the sun any life form found there would be bound to be grateful for a parasol to shelter under and hopefully if they do have hands they will be able to liberally smear their little green bodies with factor 50 + sunscreen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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