In an attempt to keep a stiff upper lip and make light (oops the best) of a bad situation the management of British Airways has decided to embark on a new business venture. It's called eBA, an online site modeled after eBay to sell the volumes of items BA loses everyday.
Newly appointed company celebrity spokesperson, Daniel Radcliffe says "Since we have lost so many bags we are not even going to try to find out who they belong to and return them, we are just going to empty the contents and sell them on our site eBA. Some people have really cool designer luggage so it's a real opportunity to bag a deal (excuse the pun). If you find your own stuff we have a feature called BUYMYOWNCRAPBACK at a much reduced price plus a free plane ticket from Heathrow to Gatwick. Carry on luggage will not be allowed because we need more opportunities to get more stuff to sell."
I asked Daniel why he accepted this spokesperson role? "I need to do a bit of image cleanup. They have found out that I smoke 20 packs of cigarettes a day, have sex with horses and actresses at the same time and that I fabricated the death threat story because news was slow and the retired SAS guys need work. However the story about my dogs needing protection is true. They are really old, cute (in a dribbly-kind-of way) and easy to catch."