The Prime Minister Gordon Brown has announced that the world-famous Red Arrows aerobatic team will not be representing the elite of British teamwork at the opening of the London Olympics in 2012.
At a press conference this morning, Mr Brown said;
"The crack team of flyers will not be around by then as the government predicts a massive shortage of avtur, the fuel used by jet engines. Besides it will infringe on our new "green" policy and it would be liable to pay new London Mayor, Boris Johnson's 'aerial indigestion charge' which is set at 1,000 per flight. Furthermore, as EU law forbids aeroplanes to be flown that are older than the pilots; the Hawker Siddely Hawk, favoured by the Red Arrows will be 40 years-old and have to retire."
"Instead we will enlist the help of The Red Bull Flugtag to select some of Britain's bravest and maddest aeronauts. Over the next three years we shall be choosing 9 of the best aviators who are able to complete a set course using nothing but human power."
A 38 year-old Squadron Leader I.A. Sakite, DFC, himself a former Red Arrow, told In Seine News;
"I think it's a jolly bad show when we cannot show off our formation flying! The bloody government need their arses kicking -bureaucrats all of them!"