Written by Ross Douglas
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Topics: Tony Blair

Friday, 30 April 2004

image for Tony Blair in yet another U-turn
Tony Blair offers drinks while MP's check the wine list.

Tony Blair today almost screwed himself into the ground when he did such a quick U-turn.

Speaking in the commons today the PM said "this labour government will not be changing its stance on a united European parliament. The only way we will join Europe is if the people of this country say they want to join." He then went on "This labour government will be fully supportive of the EU decisions when we have joined it. If we do. If we already haven't."

The PM then nudged Jack Straw from his nap to find out if the UK was already in Europe. Mr Straw was overheard to have said "Yes Tony; Britain is part of Europe, sort of. I think. Hang on; better ask someone that knows."

After a very brief, but panic filled, conference with both back and front benchers the PM remarked that "In the interests of democracy and to save me a bit of embarrassment would all the MP's present like to retire to the bar for a round of drinks on me"

For a brief second there was much cheering and rejoicing in the house but this calmed down when the leader of the opposition asked "Is the right honourable gentleman willing to pay for a bag of nuts?"

The PM then said "did I not just say to the right honourable gentleman that I would buy everyone a drink?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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