Written by Allegra Winter
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Sunday, 24 February 2008

image for Biscuit Boycott at Number 10
Cracker profits are meant to be booming during this difficult time.

This afternoon news has surfaced that Gordon Brown is looking into having biscuits banned! Apparently he dislikes their crumbly nature and how fast they break in his midmorning cup of tea.

Thinking back, this revelation shouldn't come as a big surprise. Just two months ago the PM had an interview with glossy magazine 'Good-Bye!' During this infamous interview Mr Brown was asked; "What is your favorite type of biscuit?"

The Prime Minister answered: "I do not wish to discuss my personal life; I thought this was going to be a serious interview!"

A source tells us that Gordon then stormed out of the studio, without even doing his pictorial. Luckily the same week something happened with Britney, and 'Goodbye!' still got a cover story.

Speaking of Brit-Brit, in the same interview he was asked how he felt about the pop-tart has found herself in

He replied; "I wish her all the best."

Back to the Biscuit ban, the whole country is in uproar due to this news, even ex PM Tony Blair.

"Well, Ermm, well this is quite shocking isn't it! We all love biscuits, I mean its biscuit Britain! But as I know, what the prime minister says goes!" Is what Mr Blair had to say.

Tory leader David Cameron is at the head of the Anti-Biscuit-Ban league.

"I will buy all the biscuits from every supermarket, before he bans them, and everyone who supports me, will get a biscuit!" said Mr Cameron, wearing dark shades, but his lip could be seen quivering.

It is uncertain if the ban will be enforced, but it is safe to say they will have a fight on their hands, with companies releasing 'Home Biscuit baking' sets, and parents teaching their children how to make 'Moon-Bite'

This is not case-closed.

Make Allegra Winter's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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