London - (Matrimonial Mess): "Don't be fooled by all that wholesome veggie-burger psychobabble nonsense, M'Lud," Paul McCartney's attorney told a divorce court judge today. "My client's wife is a walking dispensary of useless remedies which she uses to sedate her victims into total submission."
On the fourth day of the divorce hearing Mills was cross-examined by McCartney's QC about allegations she is hooked on Colombian organic, free-range freetrade laxatives, ayurvedic herbal detox potions and prescription anti-psychotics after being diagnosed with a karmic persecution complex by healers at London's College of Psychic Studies.
The row broke out after Mills told the judge her husband was a weed-toking junkie who drugged her into a disastrous prenup leaving her with diddly-squat in the joint bank accounts.
McCartney's barristers hit back rapidly, forcing Mills into admitting that she regularly bombarded him with sleep hypnosis tapes whose subliminals - played to the court on a portable hifi - urged her husband to sign over all his assets to their daughter Bea and appoint Mills herself as chief executive of the beneficial trust.
The hearing continues.
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