Written by Bill Skywalker
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Thursday, 31 January 2008

image for Man Utd fans stripped of all benefits

The government have today announced that Manchester United fans will no longer be allowed benefits under a new reform that was passed in Parliament today.

The Scum Act of 2008 has announced that Man Utd fans will all payback benefits earned in the last seven years and that no more will be paid out to them.

Gordon Brown announced in front of a packed Commons that this 'was a great day for the nation, the economy and the culture.' He then added that 'Britons will no longer have to put up with glory hunters who deserve nothing from the state until this scum learn to be a proper part of British culture.' Brown's speech was followed by rapturous applause from all 4 corners of the chamber.

United fans have 6 months to repay all benefits or else they will receive life imprisonment.'

Arsene Wenger the Arsenal manager added 'I've thrown soup at them, called tham wankers, stuck up the Vs to them, but nothing comes better than this quite marvellous Act. Wonderful!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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