Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: MI5

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Asian MI5 agents do public interviews
Jayshree's mum turns up at MFI looking for her daughter

In an attempt to show that Asians are fitting into British society and that not all Moslems are bomb-carrying, head-chopping deviants, the Government has given the green light to the broadcast of public interviews of Asian members of the security services.

During the interviews, male agent Shazad says:

"My name's Shaz and I'm from Birmingham, innit? In my spare time, I'm a Bangra DJ. Working for MI5's cool, innit? I've not shot anyone yet. For some reason they won't give me a gun, innit? That and the fact that target practice is on Fridays when I take the whole day off to pray."

Female agent Jayshree (who is actually Hindu) talks about her life in MI5.

"I work 4 days a week, since on Wednesdays I have to help the women in my family cook 200 chapattis. Mum and dad know I work for MI5 but they don't speak much English and think it's a DIY store. I had one exciting mission trailing a member of the Russian diplomatic service whom we suspect is a spy, but I cried off sick, since I had an arranged marriage that day."

Their boss said he was very proud of Shazad and Jayshree, who are inspirations for the Asian yoof of Britain to join up.

"They are a real credit to their country. And to Britian. We can all sleep well knowing our safety is in their hands. As long as there are no terrorists threats on a Friday, during Diwali, Id or during their 5-day marriage ceremonies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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