Written by Double Diamond
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Topics: Santa

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

image for Santa Claus - 'Clinically obese'
Santa - unwell

Health chiefs have announced that the much loved Santa Claus is considered to be clinically obese.

Worried about his rotund appearance, concerns have been raised about his continued ability to deliver presents to millions of children on an annual basis.

Chief spokesman for the World Health Organisation, Hester Bloomingfield quoted:

"Santa has, understandably, a heavy work load each year, delivering presents, eating mince pies, drinking sherry etc.

He is a heart attack waiting to happen.

We really feel, that in view of his plump demeanor, he may be taking on too much and could do with a medical work-over as soon as possible.

Imagine if he had a coronary incident whilst piloting his sleigh this Christmas? Innocent people may be killed or injured in the resultant crash"

They have suggested that Santa may wish to undertake an intensive fitness regime as soon as possible to shed his excess weight, and also he may wish to consider sharing some of his workload with the many "Santa's helpers" around the globe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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