Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Saudi Arabia

Sunday, 4 November 2007

image for Queen's Rolls-Royce Phantom fumigated after Saudi state visit
"...and Cryptosporidium on the gold-plated seat of the Phantom's en-suite lav."

Buckingham Palace - (Rotters): The royal fleet of limousines including the Queen's flagship £250,000 Rolls-Royce Phantom has had to be fumigated after the corpulent king of Sordid Arabia's state visit ended with him commandeering it for the journey back to Heathrow Airport.

"We found a nest of gestating bedouin cockroaches behind the drinks cabinet," a Rentokill source said today, "which had been bled dry of a case of '42 Puligny-Montrachet, half a dozen Château Margaux 1966 and a two litre fun-pack of Jack Daniels.

"There were traces of e-Coli in the boot, C-Difficile in the glove compartment and an outbreak of Cryptosporidium on the gold-plated seat of the Phantom's en-suite lav.

"We had to strip the Phantom down to its innards and steam-hose it properly after the upholstery tested positive for Bluetongue and herpes.

"Who knows what was going on in the 12 mile trip from Buck House to Terminal Four."

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