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Thursday, 11 October 2007

image for Exploding judge case: hexed fire-breathing therapy or spontaneous human combustion?
"Lord knows what some husbands get up to in their potting sheds these days," said the grieving widow

Glastonbury Town Hall - (Pyromaniac Mess): Spontaneous human combustion could be behind the death of a judge who literally exploded in his garden shed just minutes after a blazing divorce row with his wife left him incandescent with rage.

But so could a holistic fire-breathing anger-management therapy using lawnmower fuel that was well past its sell-by, according to depositions heard at the coroner's inquest at Glastonbury Town Hall into Judge Andrew Chard's spectacular pyrotechnic demise.

The court was told that Chard went up in a giant fireball in his potting shed at home in Chard, Somerset, in 2001.

He had just gone off in a huff after demanding a divorce from Jennifer, his wife of 34 years, following a furious ultimatum from his extramarital bit-on-the-side, comely peroxide bombshell Ms Kerry Sparrow.

The grieving widow's testimony said that after their row her husband had walked out of the house and into the shed, where she found him tinkering with a lawnmower.

"I don't know about this fire-breathing therapy though," Jennifer Chubb told the coroner, "although I wouldn't altogether rule it out M'Lud."

Mrs Chubb then said she had something to eat and a glass of champagne when she saw the garden shed explode into a ball of flames "like it was Fireworks Night."

Having inherited her husband's £1 million estate, Mrs Chubb left the former matrimonial home for a new life in Australia.

"Lord knows what some husbands get up to in their potting sheds these days," were her final words on the subject.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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