Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The Coroner's Inquest into the death of Princess Diana has heard how Cherie Blair tampered with emetic liquids used in the Princess's colonic irrigation therapies.
Acting on direct orders from interested parties resident near Predator Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texarse, Mrs Blair ensured that delusion-inducing chemicals were regularly pumped into Diana's orifice where they did the most damage before being flushed away.
"Recovered treatment samples tested positive for a variety of psychotic substances that were designed to send Diana bonkers, the hard way," a Professor of Toxicology from the London School of Hygiene and Topical Medicine said today, pointing the finger of blame at an anonymous Pimlico bum doctor sitting in the inquest court's dock.
"These enemas were made up according to an ancient recipe, as handed down by my ayurvedic forefathers," the anonymous practitioner protested to the Judge.
"I have been administering them to countless generations of the Bush family and can see nothing wrong with my results so far!"
The trial continues.
Follow us on Twitter