Sir Elton John, hero of so many gay men, bald men and swingers worldwide, is at the centre of a child porn investigation by police after it was discovered that two naked little girls, belonged to him.
The girls, Klara and Edda, both 8, were seized by Northumbria Police from the Baltic Centre in Gateshead where they were part of an exhibition. A spokesman for the police said the girls were being cared for by Social Services.
Inspector Clooless said:
"They were as naked as they day they were born, and just stood there shivering. You just had to feel sorry for them."
Mr John, born Ged Wright, is a well-known collector of rare and desirable things, but this is the first time in his illustrious career as a piano-jangling croonist that he has been publicly associated with child porn.
Chairman of the exhibition centre, Sir Ian Wriggleswell, said:
"Why aye, man! The whole kerfuffle's a complete load of old Baltics!"


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