Western security forces were put on a high state of alert following a terrorist atrocity at the world's largest condom factory.
MI5 sources revealed that Osama Bin Laden had carried out the audacious raid to hit the infidels where it hurts the most .
An unspecified quantity of crushed glass and semtex explosive was found at the contraceptives factory and it is feared that Al Queda terrorists had impregnated the entire world's supply of condoms with this deadly cocktail.
Professor Sidney Williams, an expert in the field of Human Biology, explained how deadly the glass and semtex could be if rubbed on unprotected wedding tackle.
The initial sensation would be of acute pain as the glass shards cut into the skin,' professor Williams stated.
But the initial pain would soon pale into insignificance as the semtex exploded.'
This explosion would have the force some ten times greater than the strongest vindaloo curry', he stated.
Tony Blair has urged the British public to be extra vigilant when having protected sex and to avoid the use of condoms whenever possible.