Written by Noshing Mink
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Sunday, 19 August 2007

image for Hells Angel murder solved by group of kids and talking dog
One of the kids seemed to have an insatiable appetite

What has come to be known as the infamous "Hells Angels Ghost Killer case" has finally been solved, to the relief of police and other Hells Angels.

A few days ago, a Hells Angel motorcycle rider was shot on a motorway while returning from a motorcycle rally. Oddly enough, an identical crime had occurred a few years ago on the same stretch of motorway.

Witnesses said they saw what looked like a "ghostly presence" ride up to the victim and shoot him, then disappearing, saying "Hahahahaha" in a creepy voice. The killer had a "green phosphorous sort of glow" and one witness said "I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley."

A group of kids and their dog turned up in a painted van at a news conference given by the police, grabbed the senior detective's brief case, opened it and revealed the contents to be a "Hells Angels Ghost Killer" costume. There were gasps and cries all round of "DETECTIVE SUPERINTENDENT JONES!"

One of the kids, an intelligent-looking girl in spectacles, revealed, "Superintendent Jones had applied many years ago, when he was still a constable, to join the Hells Angels but had been turned down because he owned a scooter rather than a motorcycle. He then decided to hunt down every member of the committee that took that decision."

She continued "The green glow was produced by pouring highlighter ink on spinach leaves and the image of the Hells Angel Ghost Killer was projected using a slide projector screen and a PowerPoint presentation Superintendent Jones had produced as part of his police work."

One of the other kids, a thin boy in a dirty t-shirt, said, in a 'fraidy cat sort of voice, in between eating six hamburgers, "We did it, Scoob." The dog then gave him a "high eight" and said "Rooby dooby doo!".

As he was led away by other police, Jones was heard snarling "And I'd have gotten away with it if it weren't for you pesky kids and talking dog."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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