Written by Aisubeki Akiudo
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Topics: Old People

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Pensioner Worried About Stuff
He's concerned about a few thing, this bloke.

LONDON (Defecated News) - It would appear that for many citizens, things are getting a bit too much of a concern nowadays. Many people, especially old folk with too much time to think, are finding things a bit of a worry.

One such victim of this trend is Alfred Hatchback (72) of Lewisham. He contacted The Spoof! after a sharp increase in his concerns about stuff happening, generally.

"When I was younger life was care-free", said the retired postmaster and widower. "Nowadays, this council tax business is bad news, the recycling bins thing confuses me, buses can be late at times, and sometimes the postman doesn't deliver junk mail every day. I just don't know what to do."

After being asked by the Samaritans to 'get off the line', Hatchback is more concerned than ever.

"I phoned them and told them my worries and they said they couldn't help people with my problems. I mean, how bad must things be if THEY can't help me?", wept Alfred.

He now plans on sending a petition to Gordon Brown expressing his concerns at the rise in the number of concerns. His ultimate goal? He's not sure, yet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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