Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Guns

Thursday, 9 August 2007

image for Billy the Kid shot for "not being in a gang"
Anonymous member of the Gringo Putos Gang

Mother of teenage gun victim Billy the Kid, said that her son was shot for not being in a gang. Mrs Winny the-Kidd told our reporter that her son, the youngest of three, was a model student. His older brothers, Cherokee Bill and Hoodoo Brown, she said, were also neither gang members nor mixed up in any form of gun crime. Their six putative fathers confirmed this.

Police have announced that they are looking for a suspect called Patrick Garrett, believed to have been a former friend of Billy. The Weston Super Mare Police Squad on Black Gun Crime also said that it is also looking for a local GP called Dr. Holliday, together with three members of the same family, Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan Earp, in connection with the shooting of three members of the so-called "Clanton Gang". Anyone with any information is urged to contact the authorities.

Gun crime is particularly serious in Weston Super Mare, with large groups of gang members shooting innocent people because "they wouldn't join our gang". Last year, an 80 year old white woman, Mrs Baker, was shot in Sainsbury's because she refused to join a black gang. Fortunately, she made a complete recovery and has since started her own gang.

One anonymous member of the Gringo Putos Gang told our reporter that the reason for the rise in gang membership in Weston Super Mare is because of the new railroad that is being built in the town, which has attracted a lot of Polish workers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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