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Wednesday, 1 August 2007

image for Ker-Ching! As Fish-Flogging Fast Food Chain Is Squids In
Do you want to go large with that?

Fish-flogging fast food chain, Harry Ramsden, is hoping to boost its fortunes with a new gourmet range and believes that it will have the squids ringing through its tills.

Rick Stein, A spokesman for the national chippy told us:

"Giant squid and chips is...the new cod and chips. I see it being big big big! Even Chalkie loved it and he was a stroppy little bastard at the best of times.

The only problem we have is trying to get a box big enough to fit it in. Marketing are a bit worried about it increasing the size of our carbon footprint, but quite frankly, f**k 'em I say!"

But this new meal has sparked a fishy row though as top fish bloke, Captain Birdseye, has waded into the debate hoping to tip the scales in his favour and net himself some increases in his sales quotas:

"See I tell 'ee. Oi'm Mr Fishy in this 'ere country. Moi fish fingers is top of the tree, fish-wise, and 'ee can stick yer giant squid where the sun don't shoine! Oh arr! Shiver me timbers!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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