London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Nude pictures of Kate Middleton entertaining the entire Blues & Royals regiment were found in a skip outside Buckingham palace today prompting fears that she may have been paid by the Ministry of Defence to shag a few more squaddies after breaking up with William.
Up to sixty different soldiers feature in the snaps which show Middleton's best features to perfection.
However, her face is only barely visible in the majority of shots although birthmarks, tattoos and bitemarks on her anatomy clearly identify her as the Hellfire Club slapper who once tried shagging the heir apparetn to the Pretender to the Throne.
In one of the compromising shots Kate is seen sitting astride a ceremonial bearskin while providing relief massage to the regimental color sergeant.
The photos were found by an American tourist who subsequently handed them in to a central London police station after concern for some of the horses featured in the snaps.
Police then raided the skip where up to a thousand more shots were found, some of which have been branded 'tasteful and alluring'.
Chelsy Davy is 19.