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Friday, 6 July 2007

image for Smoker's rebellion: 2012 Games In Doubt

A member of the pro-smoking alliance TITS (Tobacco Is The Shit) has put the 2012 Olympic building program "Back by a good six months" according to a spokesman today. The protester, who was seen holding a lit cigarette in the middle of a building site, caused panic amongst bricklayers and plasterers all of whom are not allowed to smoke within 500 meters of a designated public space, which includes the whole of the yet unbuilt Olympic Village.

The building site staff were evacuated from the scene of the cigarette, which was understood to have been a king-size roll-up.

The emergency services were called to the scene, but no-one was treated for second-hand smoke inhalation.

The Chief Inspector of the Smoke Police, Nosmo King, in a later interview said: "The incident was relatively minor, although as you know, environmental tobacco smoke is a highly toxic substance. A man, possibly a member of TITS, was seen lighting a roll-up of an unknown quantity of what was believed to be specially-grown tobacco. This occurred within the perimeter of the proposed Olympic Village. We evacuated the area to a distance of 500 metres all round the affected spot, but by the time the loud-hailer was available, the cigarette was out. It looks like we were extremely lucky, as the consequences of some second-hand smoke drifting to the school only two miles away could heve been very serious."

A decontamination team, using a special version of the detox substance "Fabreze" were seen working on the area for several hours after the incident.

Local MP Sir Init Forthemoney, interrupted doing something behind the bike sheds, expressed his disgust at the arrogance of the protester. "These smokers, think they can just go anywhere, stinking the place out. I want them all locked up."

A spokesman for TITS said, "We know that a smoker went into the building site, for a crafty one. We've tried to get his name, but apparently he wishes to remain anonymous. It's a good thing he didn't have a drink as well, that would really have put the cat in the rabbit hutch. Anyway, we would like it known that the protest wasn't an official action sanctioned by our committee, nor was the earlier incident at Glasgow Airport."

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