Written by Ho Lee Crap
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Topics: Terrorism, NHS

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

image for DAOT set to overtake MRSA as the new NHS killer
How you could look 100 years after a DAOT attack

DAOT or 'Death by Act Of Terrorism' is predicted to topple MRSA as the biggest killer of patients in British hospitals in the near future, experts warn. They put the move away from virus-based dangers down to the fact that the NHS appears to have been running an open-recruitment policy for Eastern European and Middle Eastern terrorists over the past few years.

NHS Press Spokesman, Mohammed Allah, denied there is a problem. 'This is another example of the media seeking to lay the blame on some minority group and publishing sensationalist articles' he said. 'It is simply not the case. I myself trained in several Asian and middle-eastern countries before coming to England to study medicine. An advertisement in the Jellalabad Gleaner called for doctors and nurses to join the NHS in England. "I could do that", I thought, and so I came. Nobody asked me whether I'd actually studied medicine and I must say, it's a far cry from my last post of calling the faithful to class in that madrassa in Pakistan'.

The report follows the revelation that of the eight people arrested in connection with acts of terrorism this week, five were doctors, two were Harley Street consultants and one had recently passed a basic food hygiene examination.

Number 10 denies the revelations have any bearing upon Prime Minister Tony Blair's resignation last week.

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