Written by carina-eta
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Topics: Big Brother

Saturday, 16 June 2007

image for Big Brother 8 - Bosses Send in Hungry Big Cats
It's 10 am in the Big Brother house - no one is in the garden.

Endemol producers today bowed to public pressure in a bid to boost flagging ratings in the Big Brother house by sending in two big slobbering males in the early hours of this morning.

The nearly all girlie household awakened today to find that a crazed tiger and a slavering hungry lion had been released into the house. The 400 pound beasts, who have not eaten since Monday, were quick to take advantage of the slumbering females.

First to be devoured live on TV was miserable, back stabbing Nicky who awoke to find a slavering tiger pinning her to the duvet. She was quickly followed by Carole(with an e)who managed to make it as far as the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Ziggy had managed to rouse the rest of the housemates who formed a gladiator-like shield from the zany colourful soft furnishings. The housemates then voted for Laura to be thrown to the two big cats in an effort to buy some time. The chattering Welsh girl was immediately thrown into the fray, lasting a full 25 minutes.

Twins, Sam and Amanda failed to understand the danger of the situation and tried the "twin dance" on the tiger, who promptly tore them limb from limb, with Sam screaming,"Oh god, it's like-whoa-like wow-like a funny cat thing.."

Bookies have responded to the situation by dropping the odds on most of the housemates, with Seany now odds on favourite to win, mainly as he's managed to get onto the roof with a rucksack of food and a bottle of water, where he seems to be whimpering and rocking to himself.

Happily, tigers CAN climb.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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