Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 11 June 2007

image for Big Brother George Galloway Hurt In Attack At Glasgow Airport
Religion - it's a bugger, isn't it?

Respect MP George Galloway has made allegations to police that he was manhandled by ruffians in a sectarian attack at Glasgow Airport on Sunday.

Galloway, who was returning to Scotland after failing to turn up for his 'big entrance' into the Big Brother house on Friday night, was taunted by a group of drunken Glasgow Rangers supporters on their way home from a drinking night out in London.

According to Mr Galloway, one of the men, who he described as their "top boy", said:

"I am a Glasgow Rangers supporter. You are a Glasgow Celtic supporter. I have a religious duty to knock you down."

The Bethnal Green & Bow MP said that he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, stopping only when he got to the luggage carousel to recover his bulging suitcase full of cigars.

Eyewitness Robert McLiar told police that the men caught the MP, made him strip to his underpants, and stubbed cigars out on his behind, using his anus as an ashtray.

A Strathclyde Police spokeswoman confirmed that an incident involving Mr Galloway at Glasgow Airport was being investigated.

"What Mr Galloway has to understand", she said, "is that he is an MP, and that he has been on Big Brother. On top of that, he is a Celtic fan. Some might say he's got off lightly."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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