Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for UK Corrupt Bastards Club stable jockey Fallon up before the Old Bailey on Tuesday
Fallon in his UK Corrupt Bastards Club flagship colors

City of London - (Ass mess): Legendary ten times racing champion and UK Corrupt Bastards Club stable jockey Kieren Fallon has a date with destiny this Tuesday when he appears at the Old Bailey, going good to very much The Firm, on race-fixing charges.

The fabled Irish-born rider has been investigated on a raft of bribery-related charges surrounding racehorse-owning oil industry fat cats for whom he has ridden for over a decade and lined his pockets with the bounty of their grateful largesse.

Some of his former grateful horse owners connected to Big Oil have met mysterious deaths in suspicious circumstances, such as a Saudi interior minister Prince Salman who was suddenly scratched from existence shortly before 9/11, just before a spooky accident then claimed one iof his brothers.

City of London cops have set out a daunting case after what they described as a lengthy investigation involving tapping his landline, his mobile, monitoring his official and unofficial bank accounts.

Fallon's coterie of rich and powerful sponsors saw their racing bloodstock soar in worth by hundreds of millions of dollars after impressive wins by the champion jockey.

But a string of what the cops have described as deliberate flops confirmed their suspicions that the jockey may have also been involved in internet betting rings wagering on which prime racing bloodstock would lose prestigeous races in the UK and by what margins.

Later this week Fallon will be appealing for a six month riding ban to be lifted after a cocaone-related incident saw him sidelined since the autumn last year.

And the odds of the fabled rider getting off scot free at the Old Bailey this Tuesday?

Aintgottaprayer.com quotes even money that Fallon will face a full corruption hearing and 6/4 that he will be found guilty, sentenced to two years in the slammer, fined a million pounds, had his riding licence suspended indefinitely and warned off every UK racetrack for the rest of his life.

"Sounds harsh!" a racing industry source said today.

"But then he might to a last minute plea bargain and incriminate all his wealthy horse owners if he thinks he is going down.

"Then heaven help them all!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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