Written by Mongrel
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Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for Gone with the Wind Power
A waste of energy

Have you ever wondered why windmills all seem to revolve at the same speed? Well, the truth is out at last! A recent study of wind farms has concluded that they use more power than they generate!

Because the windmill generator is so finely balanced the speed must be kept constant to avoid wear and reduce maintenance costs. Unfortunately when the wind drops, the speed has to be kept up by drawing the power back from the national grid.

A spokesman for Scottish Wind Ltd told The Spoof: "Our largest wind farm has 30 windmills and on an average day it draws 1.5 Megawatts from the system. On a good day it will deliver 1.7 Megawatts, but we only get a few days like that per year, so it is actually costing us energy to run them.

Environmental groups immediately stepped in to support the use of wind farms though. They insisted that the question of whether electricity was being generated or consumed was beside the point, and that we have to find Eco-friendly ways of both generating AND consuming energy.

A spokesman for the rival energy supplier Nuclear Solutions Ltd was unavailable for comment, however a source indicated that he hadn't been able to stop laughing since the news broke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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