Written by Benny Martin
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Sunday, 20 May 2007

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Good Stuff Man!

A record number of people may have ended up wrecked in Cornwall today after as much as £250m worth of superskunk was believed to have been found.

It has been reported to be the biggest find of it's kind in the UK, reported to have originated from Spain. The happy green stuff was found hidden in thousands of underwater greenhouses, of a previously unknown type, possibly originating from part of the Spanish Armada fleet, which was defeated in the English Channel in 1588.

The discovery may also have shed new light on why the Spanish were defeated so convincingly, and why they even embarked on such a doomed exhibition in the first place. The Spanish were clearly deluded and suffering from hallucinations to even think they would defeat the English, and by the time they reached English waters, were so chilled out, they offered love to the waiting English Navy, rather than war, and were sunk there and then.

The skunk was discovered by a US team 40 miles off the coast of Cornwall. I spoke to a resident of Land's End this afternoon. He was clearly elated by the events. 'Yearr man, there arr some strange yanks selling som pasties marn, they arr green inside man ooh aarh, yerr, dig it, want some of this man yerr, good stuff!'

The cigarette rolling paper firm, Spliffzla, have announced they are to ship all their supplies of king size papers to Land's End, to meet the increase in demand. Biscuit sales have also doubled.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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