Written by James Malley
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Thursday, 17 May 2007

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho's pet Yorkshire Terrier Gullit has gone missing following discussions with police over the dog's legality in Britain.

Police were at first led to believe that Hollywood superslut Paris Hilton had kidnapped the dog so she could add it to her collection. However, the soon to be jailed and gangbanged Ms Hilton has since been cleared of any involvement.

Mr Mourinho spoke to TheSpoof.com reporters earlier: 'It is stupid. My dog is legal in this country. Gullit is not an asylum seeker and why the police think this I do not know. I do know Prime Minister Tony Blair wants to crack down on immigration in his last days but this is ridiculous. Please if anyone has any information regarding Gullit please get in touch.'

Mr Mourinho went on to show us a letter he received a few days before his dog went missing. The letter said, 'I'm going to get you my pretty and your little dog too.' and it was signed Sir Alex.

London police are yet to figure out who this letter is from as they are stupid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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