LONDON (UPI) - Outgoing Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced that he will "take down" and implicate President George Bush if Blair is charged with war crimes.
"If anyone has the nuts to charge me with war crimes, you can be sure that I will implicate that bozo [George] Bush too," he stated at an impromptu news conference at a London tube station. "I can't wait to get the hell out of here and leave this mess to that poof Gordon Brown."
Blair had just announced his departure as leader of the Labor Party and Prime Minister, one who is more detested than even Margaret Thatcher according to public opinion polls.
"I know that my legacy is one soaked in blood due to the gratuitous war and occupation of Iraq on behalf of BP, Shell, Exxon and Israel," he admitted. "But it was really the idea of that monkey in the White House. Yet I know a thing or two which will prove to the world that he is the real war criminal."
"So I actually look forward to my war crimes trial, cause it will distract everyone from the sale of peerages in the 'cash for honors' scandal," he continued. "Then when I shift the blame to Bush, I'll be free to sun in the Med for the rest of my life with Lord Browne and earn a fortune on the speaking circuit."
Blair had also engineered the huge transfer of wealth from workers to the ultra-rich throughout the UK during his office. The richest 1,000 people in Britain more than tripled their wealth under Blair to £360 billion.
Meanwhile, the number of people living in poverty in Britain rose to 12.7 million, with impoverished children rising to 3.8 million.
"Besides revitalizing Britain's legacy of imperialist warfare, increasing the rich and poor, and making money from peerages, I've also devastated the Labor Party in the May elections. It is now time to go," he concluded his review of his legacy.