Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: Doctor Who

Saturday, 28 April 2007

image for Doctor Who quits NHS
"I've been living in a mobile home for as long as I can remember"

In a shock announcement, TV celebrity and galavanting Timelord, Doctor Who, said he was quitting the NHS, blaming it on Government reforms.

"For years, I've had to work with tacky material", he complained. "I didn't mind that the Daleks were dust bins with rubber plungers or that the Cybermen were failed actors dressed up in silver who had wet their pants and therefore walked stiffly. Other doctors get stethoscopes and I get a cheap sonic screwdriver that was probably made in China. However, I am incensed at the flawed introduction of the Medical Training Application Service (MTAS)."

The last survivor of the Planet Gallifree was particularly annoyed that junior doctors were able to access his personal information over the Internet. "For reasons even I don't understand, my identity has always been kept secret and not even I know my real name. So imagine my anger at discovering that the new recruitment process introduced by the Government allows anyone with a Kray supercomputer and 50-digit decrypting software to access all my details and order a Domino's Pizza?"

Asked whether he would remain in the country, Doctor Who said "Not bloody likely. I hear that in America I can earn a lot more and have a much better standard of living. I've been living in a mobile home for as long as I can remember and it doesn't even have plumbing."

Doctor Who has been a junior doctor for over 40 years, for some reason never passing the exams that would make him a Consultant and allow himself to be called Mister Who.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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