Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 27 April 2007

London - (Ass Mess): Lord Levy, the blind trust portfolio bagman to UK Prime Monster Tony Blair, his personal Middle East envoy, chief WMD/yellowcake uranium fantasist and top racketeering partner responisble for flogging peerages, is squirming with angst today as UK cops announce finding his business links to the 9/11 outrage.

The news comes as Israeli police fly to Australia to question billionaire businessman Frank Lowy about a racketeering scam started by former Israeli PM Ehud Olmert.

For a number of years Levy was Lowy's top UK rent boy and was reported in the UK press as having earned over $600,000 in kickbacks from Lowy's mobster cartel business dealings.

Before he became Israeli PM Olmert was the country's finance minister at the time of the government's 2005 sale of a controlling interest in Bank Leumi, one of the country's largest financial institutions.

Police are probing Olmert's alleged intervention in that sale to help two wealthy associates, Frank Lowy and American billionaire S. Daniel Abraham.

Bank Leumi subsequently acquired Joe Albritton's corrupt cocaine money laundering organization the Riggs Bank which was fined a record $40 million by US regulators for fraud involving General Pinochet's million dollar kickbacks from dodgy Saudi oil deals in the Al Yamamah arms-for-oil scam.

Riggs was also cited as being seminal in the attempted coup d'etat in Equatorial New Guinea which saw Margaret Thatcher's son Mark convicted and fined $500,000 on corruption charges.

Since Blair took office in 1997 Levy has been the eminence grise that brought together mobster cartels around the world and organised a sophisticated system of access to Number 10 Downing Street at £100,000 a pop.

His own rake off for this little scam came from Riggs Bank offshore accounts controlled by Australian mall developer Frank Lowy.

These eventually became part of the Bank Leumi organization which Olmert then helped to flog off in 2005 to enrich Lowy and Abraham.

In 2000 Lowy and another Oz mobster Larry Silverstein took out leases on the World Trade Center knowing that the money which paid for these came from the cocaine funds they controlled at Riggs.

And on personal advice from Blair, via Levy, insured their WTC holdings for additional hazards cover just days before the 9/11 atrocity.

Their insurers subsequently paid out a double multi billion dollar figure after the WTC's destruction following a protracted legal case on whether the 9/11 attack was one even or two as Lowy/Silverstein had claimed in their suit.

Meanwhile back in London Blair and his wife Cherie have added a £900,000 mews property to their £3.6 million town house which they are refurbishing 'for their retirement'.

Even on the most generous mortgage calculations their combined incomes could only have ever secured home loans of around £1.5 million according to UK financial experts interviewed in the press.

But somewhere along the food chain they managed to attract sufficient funds that have yet to be declared that enabled this house purchase and swelled their own portfolio.

Last week UK cops handed the massive loans for peerages dossier to UK Crown prosecutors which alleges Levy and Blair started selling honors ten years ago because it was the only way to stay in office after astronomic election costs in excess of £25 million per election.

And in Australia PM John Howard, a bosom buddy of Lowy and Silverstein, is fighting a spooks' probe centered on why he shred NATO documents in 1992 that showed he and Dick Cheney are uterine brother.

"We're all looking forward immensely to when Blair finally leaves office next month," a UK cops' spokesman said today.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 12 10 14

Go to top