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Sunday, 22 April 2007

image for You're Nicked Sunshine. Police Book Speeders At London Marathon
An empty bus-lane earlier

Brother of the PM and head of the Met, Sir Ian Blair, has today defended his force's robust policing of the Flora London Marathon.

This is after uproar ensued because 6 of the wheelchair athletes were issued fixed penalty notices for exceeding the City's strict 30 mph speed limit. Meanwhile literally thousands of fun-runners face fines for illegal use of bus lanes.

The top cop told us:

"The law's the law and even though these criminals were acting on behalf of good causes, that's no excuse. Speeding through the capital sets a bad example to others. Three of these guys were clocked by our radar vans doing 33!"

Jeremy Clarkson, presenter of TV's Top of the Form commented:

"This is a disgrace. It's another instance of big brother watching us and I'm bloody livid. If I hadn't pissed off the Frogs then I'd be jacking this police state in and shacking up in France. Safety cameras? My fucking arse!"

And former Big brother contestant and star, Jade Goody, who is now reduced to living the life of a rabid racist bully told us.

"I don't like Marafons. I prefer Crunchies or Turkish delights"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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