Written by Joey da dog
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Sunday, 11 March 2007

image for End of prohibition in the US comes as news to remote Scottish island
The Isle of Islay (courtesy of Google Earth)

A Scottish whiskey distiller on the Isle of Islay, an island off the coast of western Scotland is to reopen 80 years after it was closed as a consequence of US prohibition laws introduced in 1920. Prohibition ended in 1933, but it has taken 74 years for the news to travel to this isolated community which is so little known that the latest version of Google Earth places the island 15 miles further east than it actually is.

Owners of the distillery were overjoyed when they heard the news this week from a Channel 4 Shipwrecked contestant who got on the wrong ferry.

Preparations were immediately put in hand to reopen the Bruichladdich distillery at Port Charlotte after a celebration party which lasted three days and virtually wiped out the last remaining stocks of fine Highland malt in the western isles.

In keeping with modern times, the distillery now plans to produce environmentally friendly whiskey distilled from organic barley.

When asked what the benefits of an environmentally friendly whiskey might be, a spokesman told us, "We need to encourage sustainable inebriation, and we believe that drinking our whiskey is one of the fastest ways to help people go green."

Footnote: Bruichladdich is pronounced 'brew kqlazdysz'. It is a gaelic word meaning 'my ancestors were Polish'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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