Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 6 March 2007

image for Taxi Driver Acquires The Knowledge, Leaves UK With It
Police are looking for Mr al-Kabbi

A Muslim taxi driver has sparked a security alert in London after acquiring The Knowledge, and then leaving the country.

Tariq al-Kabbi, 24, a suspected 'funded mentalist', applied to Hackney Borough Council for a taxi licence last July on the anniversary of the bomb attacks at several London Tube stations.

His movements over the next six months are unknown, but in January this year he turned up at the Council offices again to take the test and to collect his badge. Having passed the test, he left the premises jubilant, and has not been seen since.

Although something of a 'mystery man', it is known that he is in possession of The Knowledge, and MI5 have put out an alert to all UK air- and seaports, as well as others in Europe.

A photofit likeness has been 'cobbled together', and, so far, more than 12,000 'suspects' have been hauled out of bed, in vain as it happens, as not one of them was Mr al-Kabbi.

Doris Watkins, 63, a cleaner at MI5, said:

"It's quite frightening. Goodness knows what will happen if The Knowledge gets into the wrong hands - al-Qaeda for instance. Ooooooo...perish the thought!"

According to an official source at Security HQ, Agent 0077, the suspect may have fled back to his native country of Pakistan with evil intentions as to what to do with The Knowledge.

"Or, he could be innocently plying his trade as an everyday London taxi driver", he said.

The government are taking no risks, and have appealed to members of the public not to approach Mr al-Kabbi as he is a Muslim.
Anyone with information on the whereabouts of The Knowledge is asked to contact their nearest Police Station where, likely as not, they will be arrested and kicked unconscious.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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