Written by K.C. Bell
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Monday, 5 February 2007

image for Blair Friend No Swinger

Swept up and arrested in the cash-for-peerage scandal, Prime Minister Tony Blair's once good and loyal friend, Lord Levy, announced: "I'm not going to swing for Tony Blair." The term "to swing" does not mean to suggest "to party" but rather is in reference to swinging from a rope in the gallows. Most recently demonstrated by Saddam Hussein.

Rumor has it that Lord Levy is prepared to, if not already doing so, "Sing like a canary." This is gangster language for confessing; not to be confused with opera or an Andrew Lloyd Webber piece. As Mr. Blair's chief fund raiser, Lord Levy claims to have consistently warned the Prime Minister to stop taking secret loans - sometimes described as cash under the table - but to instead only accept donations that are declared to the Lords committee that vets peerages. In other words, receiving secret loans - in the run up during the last election - is like buying a title.

The selling of a peerage is a serious enough travesty, but like Watergate, and the I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby trial, it is the cover-up that produces a snag, conflicting stories, followed by conspiracy to prevent the course of justice. The Special Counsel in the "Scooter" Libby trial, Patrick Fitzgerald, described it as, "Throwing sand in the pitcher's eyes."

Meanwhile, in a recent poll, over 50% of Britons want Tony Blair to resign now. There doesn't appear to be a rented U-Haul parked in-front and no signs of the Blairs packing furiously, throwing household items into large cardboard boxes. Despite the purchase of five new homes, they remain rooted to Number 10.

Back in the United States, Blair pal President Bush is diving in the polls as far down as 29%. There was one poll, however, where he topped the list with a count as high as 49%. In the same poll last year, he placed second to Ariel Sharon. This year, he is in First Place without the help of hanging chads or the Supreme Court. He scored high marks, voted the most feared person in the world by people in the Middle East.

The cash for peerage is expected to reach a climax soon. Not the fireworks display kind of climax, but the end of the investigation; followed by arrests, trials and the slammer. Gangster talk for prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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