Written by Alan Goodfellow

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Topics: Bullying

Thursday, 1 February 2007

image for BB's Jackson to launch anti bullying campaign

It has been revealed today that Singer Germaine "Jacko" Jackson is to launch an anti bullying campaign following the scenes he recently witnessed at first hand in the BB house.

Mr Jackson, 77 from Ashby de la Zouche near Wales, has yet to reveal exactly what this campaign will involve, although a source close to the Angel voiced Diva, (who's hits include, "Smile even though your brother is a weirdo", "The Preacher at my Church is a bit of all right" and "When I'm cleaning Windows I always use vinegar and wet newspaper"), believes it will involve punishment beatings dished out by fully SAS trained bible armed hit squads. It was revealed these teams are expected to randomly storm Schools and offices throughout the country from February 5th, and will administer a scientifically tested therapy that was apparently developed some decades ago involving the following techniques:

1. Being beaten unconscious with the New Testament
2. Having His or Her trainers thrown either onto the roof of the nearest house or into a tall tree.
3 "Gay boy get it here" or "Lesbo I like comfortable shoes" being written onto the forehead in permanent red pen.
4. Pooing in the Bully's bag.
5. Being taped to a 20 foot high Crucifix and left in a nearby graveyard so victims of the bully as well as local Church goers can pray for his or her soul.

The minister for Schools for England and Wales has welcomed Mr Jacko's innovative and asked that ALL members of the public including vegetarians, vegans, members of Rent-a-Protest (especially those University drop out types that don't wash much) and other do-gooders fully support the campaign.

The Prime Minister has also approved the scheme by calling it "a positive move".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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