Written by Steffan Lewis
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Topics: Gordon Brown, Flying

Thursday, 1 February 2007

image for New airport tax causes grief
Atomic jet under development with no carbon emissions

As if the cost of living wasn't sky high enough, the government slaps on more sky high tax for being sky high.

Britain's next Prime Minister, Gordon Brown has bowed to Eco-campaigners and increased the cost of flying from British airports.

Airport tax will cost the average traveler £500 (1013USD) more after the rise today.

"It's a necessary evil," he commented, "we have to pay for all sorts of shit and this seems to be the obvious way to do it."

"The Eco-thingie was a brilliant guise, I mean, opportunity to raise some extra cash, for, er, reducing carbon footprints."

David Blunkett, former colleague and supporter of Brown, and Sheffield's only famous person to remain outside of the overcrowded prisons, just, said, "Despite being stabbed in the back, I fully support the decision to increase airport tax. These unsightly footprints must be stopped at all cost."

His dog agreed, "the correlation between aviation and global warming is spurious, but it's better to be safe than shitting in your own dog basket."

Willie Walsh, Chairman of BA was furious. "My job is hard enough without Brown and his gold diggin' bitches adding to my problems. We're already paying too many useless people too much. This is the final straw, I quit."

Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary shouted at staff in his headquarters. "THAT BASTARD BROWN'S AT IT AGAIN." Later when he'd calmed down he attended his daily press conference. "These taxes are unreasonable, unjustified and just another way of paying for Brown's private jet travel."

Environment Minister Ian Pearson is said to have shat himself when he learned that a new Atomic Aircraft had successfully completed its first test flight last week. "I'll have nothing to complain about," he complained. "And people might start looking at the real cause of Global Warming like heavy industry, I mean Cattle Farming, I mean cycle lanes. Shit, you know what I mean. Whatever it is, if it's essential, we'll tax it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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